It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
