you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
