Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize