haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
