Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
