Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
