Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
