I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize