phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
