so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
