I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
