Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
