i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
