what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
