Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
