This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
