they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
