I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
