i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize