I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
