Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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