do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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