So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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