Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
