Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
