Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
