So drunk its hurt
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
