I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
