Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize