My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize