Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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