im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
