Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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