Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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