ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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