It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He did a backflip because drugs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
