i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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