no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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