I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
