Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
