She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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