Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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