no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
