i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
