Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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