well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize