Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
