Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
