Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
