i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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