she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
