you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
