they need to just BURY HIM!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
