i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
