she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
