Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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