you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
