Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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