is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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