Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
