we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize