I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I could have mohawked her pubes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
