watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's rum buckets o'clock
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize